Living Your Truth

[Disclaimer: For a brief time, I was a writer for "Indie Chicks" magazine. "Indie Chicks" has since closed. On my blog, I am re-introducing my articles that I wrote for them.  If you've read these before, I hope you are inspired, once again. If these are new, I hope they offer you something during your day].

When I first heard Katy Perry’s song, “Who Am I Living For, ” I was quite moved. To me, this song represents a crossroads in a person’s life: one path—follow the social mores of the time and continue listening and fulfilling people’s expectations of you; a second path—move away from social expectations and follow your own personal truth—even if it means becoming unpopular and ostracized by the masses. The second path is not an easy one. It means you have to accept others’ projected negative emotions and reactions, namely fear, judgment, hatred, and shame. On the other hand, there is a type of freedom that comes with owning your truth, your emotions, and even your mistakes. After all, this is your life and your journey. Why do we give others power over us on how we should govern our lives? Yet, we all do it. It is part of our social conditioning.

Living your truth is not always easy. You are met with one challenge after another. If you are a people-pleaser it is especially difficult to choose to listen to your own voice over the voices of those people you want to please. There are days where you will fall and feel weak. But, you are not weak. You are resilient, powerful, and strong. Please remind yourself of this on those rough days. In my experience, this is what I have learned about living a life that is true for you.

It Takes Courage to Go Against the Grain

Who wants to be the one who likes apples when everyone else in a group likes pears (or has been conditioned to like pears)? But, if you like apples, you should not feel ashamed to express your joy of eating them. You add a different perspective to the group. Speaking up about your joy of apple-eating takes a lot of guts. You might be met with nasty comments, eye-rolls, or people just turning their backs on you. Some do all these things. If you hold your ground despite such reactions, you will eventually be respected for your courage and your integrity.

Integrity is the Holy Grail of Character

How often do you say what you mean and mean what you say? Do you make agreements with yourself and/or others and actually commit to them? Are you masterful with the words you use and how you use them? I admit, it is all too easy to make promises then not commit to them. It is all too easy to inadvertently gossip about someone. I’m sure we have all offered white lies. Likewise, I’m sure many of us have said “yes” when we meant “no” to a request. It is ok. Living and speaking with integrity is aspirational. More important than being “perfect” is putting a priority on living with integrity, while forgiving yourself for your mistakes.

Sometimes, You Just Have to Let Go…

When you embrace the real, true you, not everyone is going to like what they see. It is heartbreaking when the judges are the very people you grew up with; worse, your family of origin or extended family! What you must realize is this: judgment is really fear. The fear is not so much about you but what you represent. To return to my fruit example, imagine people trying to put themselves in your shoes by appreciating the taste of that juicy apple only to to be challenged because it goes against every belief and construct they’ve ever learned—that pears are the healthiest, ripest, and most substantive fruit to eat! They feel terrified and confused. The result: actions are taken to make you feel rejected, ostracized, and/or abandoned. After all, you must be crazy to like anything but pears! Again, it is not you. Respect their fear and let them go. The worst thing you can do is to conform to their wishes in order to be accepted. It will eat at you (pardon the pun). It will make you feel ashamed; but, it will also make you feel untrue in your life and in your personal space. Trust me, that is a recipe for a slew of mental health issues.

Own Your Differences with Great Pride

When you identify with an orientation, an identification, a community, or level of uniqueness, embrace how you see yourself with great pride, honor and dignity. No one has a right to make you feel unworthy, ashamed, or less than amazing. Often, you give this power to others to undermine you. But, it does not have to be that way. Share and love who you are. Own it and shout it out to the roof-tops: “I love apples, and I am proud!”