In the last year, I've been connecting more to my truth and the things that bring more of me out. More profound, me and my partners seem to be connected to the same things. We are taking the Self and relationship journey together. I could not be more grateful.
Here are some of the activities we have engaged in during the last few months:
Meditation
Hubby and me started a guided meditation program called
Headspace. It is a program that takes you through daily meditation for ten minutes per session. I found that I need this time during my workday. It is especially helpful around 2pm or 3pm in the afternoon when I get tired and unfocused. I've learned how to be more mindful of my breath, my body, and my senses (Ie. the sounds around me). It is also great sharing this with Hubby. He and I chat about specific sessions and what we learned from them.
Ecstatic Dance
Imagine the ability to move freely and expressively, guided only by "the Music, your own Body, Mind, & Spirit, and those of your Fellow Dancers." This is called Ecstatic Dance. It is run by
DevaGnosis in the Bay Area. Per their Facebook group, there are three guidelines to follow.
Move However You Wish
No Talking on the Dance floor
Respect One Another's Space
We have particularly attended "Dance Elemental," whereby the DJ plays the music of the classical elements - earth, water, air, and fire. For an example, fire tends to sound upbeat and lively. Water is music with the quality of emotional reflection and flow. And, I have found that I intuitively hear and feel the difference between each music.
Being a part of this event is actually quite significant; in my upbringing dance was associated with perfection, straight lines, and discipline (my mother was a ballet teacher, and these expectations are part of the ballet culture). I could never truly participate because of my physical disability and my fear of not being good enough. Now, I am allowing myself to move without these type of expectations. It is very liberating. It has also become a way to spiritually connect inwardly, as well as share energy with my partners and any other person I gravitate towards.
Women's Groups
I've always dreamed of being part of a sisterhood. But, for most of my life, I've felt isolated. I didn't even have platonic girlfriends I could share my inner thoughts with. Now, at 40 years old, I am realizing how essential it is to be part of a women's group. I call it my Goddess Circle. I found my very first Goddess Circle through meetup.com,
San Jose Women's Spirit Circle Meetup. It was facilitated by four *beautiful women who had deeply bonded with each other after going through their own personal journeys. The first group I attended was all about getting in touch with your sexuality, sensuality, and free-spirit. It never got too deep. Before we could get into too deep process, the facilitator told us to get up from our seats and dance. It did not matter what it looked like - only that we got out of our heads and any self-consciousness. It was awesome. Unfortunately, when I moved away from San Jose, CA, time and distance prevented me from attending their monthly groups.
Well, my Love, Roo, introduced a new circle to me. It was through a spiritual coaching group called "
Deep Connect." This is their description on Facebook:
"Time To Talk About Deep Connection with yourself and others so you can live vibrantly. Workshops for Men, Goddess Retreats for Women, and Coaching."
The first time I attended this women's circle, they had made someone's living room into a a scared space. The space had an alter, candles, and sage. Each person who entered the space had to go through a cleansing ritual and commit to an intention of connection and deep respect for Self and others. Our plan was to pick tarot cards that we were guided to - expressing how our cards held personal meaning - or not - to us. We ended with emotional sharing. I was overcome with emotion when I realized that I had been seeking this my whole life. But, I was also scared - especially when the emotional sharing became too deep for me. An
empath, I am very sensitive to others' energies. I think it became more overwhelming than I'd like to admit. Let me offer an apology to my hubby when he felt this sense of me being overwhelmed when I got home that night. He, too, is a very sensitive Being. He also loves to feel the positive energy I give off after an experience. My energy was somewhat mixed that night.
Despite any kinks that may have occured, I felt such gratitude at discovering this group and connecting with such amazing women. And, thanks to Roo for being willing to share this
Goddess space with me!
Yoga
A facilitator from the San Jose Women's Circle referred me to a yoga studio. I inquired about good yoga centers after I was diagnosed with osteoporosis (I know...it sucks, right?).
en's Spirit Circle Meetup, referred me to
East West Yoga in Cupertino, CA. My first class was "Gentle Yoga," and I absolutely loved it! The class facilitator was very supportive of my issues. The class was easy to follow.
After taking a few free classes, part of their introductory package, I paid for 5 classes every month. Yoga makes me feel refreshed, energized, and free from tightness and stress. It great for my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. And they even end their classes with a brief meditation.
Cuddle Parties
It is exactly what it sounds like - people cuddling in a warm, inviting space for up to, sometimes, three hours. Generally, a facilitated event, it is a great way to meet strangers and become intimate fairly quickly. People are asked to remain clothed and to respect the
cuddle party rules. It is a very safe, sacred, and respectful way to connect with others. It may be playful and sensual too, depending on what you want.
HAI Workshops
My partners and I attended an introductory tasting of the
Human Awareness Institute (HAI).
We started out as a group of self-conscious, nervous strangers and ended the workshop feeling deeply connected to each other. At least, this was my experience. In general, the facilitator had us engage in intimacy-building activities. Hubby and Roo stayed with each other for these exercises. I ended up partnered with a man who looked like he was in his 70's. This was significant for me; for several years, now, I've not trusted men, other than Hubby. That is a story in-it-of-itself. Suffice to say, I broke down some walls. Just to be clear - this was about emotional sharing and being authentic and transparent. It was not about sexual intimacy (though, there is nothing wrong with that). Ultimately, we signed up to attend a full HAI workshop/retreat. I cannot wait!
Beginning of my Deeper Connection to Self & My Loves
A year ago, I attended a "
Alive and Shine," a yoga center where by sister works as a Retail Manager.
At the time, I felt like my life was a mess. I was dealing with anger issues, loss, and self-sabotage whenever things got rough. In a desperate attempt, I listened to my sister when she told me to come to her place of work and attend a workshop called "
Heartful Meditation." Essentially, the founder and Master of "Alive and Shine", Savitri, taught us how to connect to our hearts through meditation. Unlike any other meditation practice, she taught us to physically move the energy from our mental space to our heart space. As an example she described
cocooning as surrounding yourself with a beautiful, loving light that comes from within and around you. Imagining this light as you are doing the hand motions makes it more true - and you embody that "beautiful feeling." She also taught us that our senses often lie to us. Just like what
Don Miquel Ruiz teaches in "T
he 5th Agreement," it is often wise to doubt your senses, especially when they lead you to create a false story about yourself and your relationships. Savitri endorsed the same idea in her "Heartful Meditation" workshop. In many ways, this concept has saved me from burying myself in gloom and doom - unnecessarily (just so you know - about this doom and gloom - - it is mostly self-induced for me; sometimes, I just go o a dark place).
Now, several months, workshops, and spiritual events later, I am more grounded, connected, and mindful. I set my intention each day and take accountability when I make mistakes. This one event is what guided me (and, somehow Hubby and Roo's indivudual journeys led them to the same place!) to all the other events and experiences - I've mentioned above. The process I've gone through since then means so much to me.
Thank you to those who always saw this gift within me - even when I didn't believe it - myself.
Tying it All Together...
As I develop in these different ways, I now see just how much I've embraced, what some call,
"The New Age Movement". Whatever you call it, it is a spiritual awakening that has connected me to something Greater than myself - but also the spark of Light within myself. Spiritually speaking, I believe that we, as humans, carry the Divine within us. We co-create our reality with Source - what the world refers to as God. As far as I see it, we can either choose to focus on love or fear. Love connects us to other beings of light, whereas fear disconnects and isolates us. When we believe in our power, choice, internal magic, and impact - as it relates to the energy we give off - we are powerful vehicles of change and action in a world that desperately needs this. Speaking for myself, I am learning and growing each and everyday. The ongoing thread within all of my development is a sense of immense gratitude. I am grateful for my bonds, loves, friendships, and amazing community. It is you, my community and loved ones, that remind me not to give up on myself. It is you who sees my gifts and empowers me to use them. And, it is you who encourage me to be vulnerable and trusting - within reason - when fear sometimes overtakes me.
THANK YOU!
*My yoga teach might say, "Thank yourself - Mandy - for showing up for yourself!" *
To All reading this post - Blessed Be <3
