#1000Speak [February 2015]: Towards a World That Embraces Gender Diversity with Respect and Compassion

A couple years ago I met activist and international speaker, Ryan Sallans at a Gender Diversity conference in Seattle, Washington. A female to male adult who was courageous enough to go through transition, I was so moved by his story that I bought his book, "Second Son." Born Kimberly Ann Sallans, "Second Son," is a true story that explores Ryan Sallans young life, her fight with an eating disorder, and the eventual transition. Between Ryan and reading his book, I could not help but feel compassion for his lost relationships, his family conflicts, and ongoing oppression and discrimination that transgender people tend to face. Ryan is not the only transgender person who has impacted my views and and expanded my vision. I have befriended, Mac McGregor, another activist, speaker, and sex-positive sex-pert in the Seattle area. Coincidentally, he too went through transition -  female to male. The more I grow and network with others in the Lesbians-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender (LGBT) and sex-positive community, the more I want to advocate against bullying, intolerance, and oppression.  Ryan and Mac are my role models. They have faced insurmountable obstacles. Yet they present with courage, confidence, grace, and authenticity.  All the same, it breaks my heart to see people purposely shame and humiliate others for their gender identity and sexual orientation. Young people are especially susceptible to depression, eating disorders, and other mental health problems. Unfortunately, there is less tolerance in other parts of the world. In some countries today, if one is not a hetero-sexist, monogamous male, one is ostracized, beaten, and even killed. Likewise, if one exists on a gender spectrum but does not feel like either a socially conforming male or female, he/she/they is met with the same fate. The intolerance appalls me.  Bullying and shunning as a way to promote sexual shame and shame associated with gender non-conformity is just not okay. I ask that we all aspire to rise above fear and ignorance;  instead, let us cultivate compassion and empathy for our fellow human beings - regardless of their sexual-orientation, gender identification, or lifestyle. Ultimately, this issue  is about creating a world that is more accepting, affirming, and compassionate to differences. It is about creating a world that acknowledges that there is no such thing as black and white; today, it is all about the grey. Everything is based on context, and no one can judge until one has actually lived in the shoes of another. We get into hot water when we let fear rule our lives and overtake our hearts. Fear only leads to ignorance, hatred, separation, judgment, and mistrust. It can be very ugly, indeed. Fear is most ugly when it wears the mask of self-righteousness. I am so grateful that today, at least, we are moving towards a society of affirmation and acceptance. I am reminded that “Glee,” is a revolutionary television show that is Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender and sex-positive affirming. In this week’s episode, the writers brought in a transgender storyline. For those who don’t watch the show, the school’s sports coach has always felt like a man in a woman’s body.  About two weeks ago, she revealed that she was going through transition.   Shannon Beiste became Sheldon this week. He was confronted with teenage bullying. Likewise, he was faced with a sense of isolation when his peers did not know how to react around him.  The show brought up very real issues that people who are transitioning actually face. It calls us all to act with more compassion, empathy, human decency, and acceptance. In a world that is changing so rapidly, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to honor, respect, and affirm our differences.  The true measure of compassion will arise when we can respect, honor, and support our differences, eliminate ignorance and oppression, and act from a place of kindness and curiosity.