Ryan Halligan (1989 -2003): he hung himself in the family bathroom when he communicated with a girl online (who he thought liked him), but her only purpose in friending him was to openly share personal stories throughout social media to embarrass and humiliate him.
Jessica Logan (18 years old): thought she was sending nude photos to her only her boyfriend. Instead, the photos were shared to 100s of teens in at least seven Cincinnati-area high schools. She eventually hung herself.
Tyler Clementi shared (1991-2010): shared that he was gay he was subject to great ridicule on social media. In May 2011 he jumped off the George Washington Bridge; couldn’t handle the constant harrassment.
These are just a few cases involving cyber bullying. At the times of their occurrence, no laws had been written to protect these individuals and criminalize offenders. Due to these cases, anti-bullying laws have been created. Still, we have a long way to go - and not just in the legal system. Much has to be changed on a social and cultural level on this topic too. It is imminent.
Things that really get to me:
When Adults are Bullies
I can’t condone teenage bullying. Worse, is adult bullying. We are supposed to be wiser and more knowledgeable than the kids. Sometimes, adults are just as bad on social media. It is subtle. I was once on a Facebook thread where adults were talking about bullying. This is what I kept seeing in each comment:
“Kids have no “balls” today. I was bullied as a kid. But, I got through it. I didn’t commit suicide just because someone was mean to me. We are raising weaklings.” (paraphrased - but you get the general idea).
This is what I wanted to say to these people. But, I was so angry that I could not find a decent way to say it:
“I was bullied in school too. Due to my singing training, I skipped the 7th grade choir and went right to 8th grade choir in middle school. I thought it would be the best experience of my adolescence. Instead, I got the mean girl treatment. Either I was a b@@tch or people just ignored me. Later, a decent student actually admitted that people were jealous of me. Suffice to say, I came home in tears daily. And, still, what I experienced was NOTHING compared to what kids experience today! With the the way social media works, not to mention our complete disregard for privacy and respect, no one born before the mid ‘90s and early part of the 21st century (2000’s) can really understand what bullying really is in today’s society and western culture. In my opinion, to judge is to show weakness of character.”
If it were up to me, I’d not only focus on the promotion and awareness of anti-bullying laws (see ) but, I’d work to promote a brand new etiquette around social media. Heck, I’d make it part of the high school curriculum! It is sad, but we need a class that teaches kids to use and write kind, considerate, and respectful words to each other. One of my favorite books is “The Four Agreements,” by Miguel Riuz. The first agreement is “Be impeccable with your word.” To be impeccable with your word is to master your words by being mindful of them. It is recognizing that we are all human beings and all deserve human decency and compassion. When did we ever teach that it was okay to humiliate, dehumanize, undermine, and defame each other? It has got to stop! Children and teens (and even some adults ) today don’t think their actions and words mean anything. This could not be farther from the truth; they have more influence and impact than they will ever realize. I’ve said it it in previous posts - your words can make or break a person. This also applies to posting photos and information without the consent and permission of the person at hand.
Sadly, I think this is only scratching at the surface of our bullying problem. A bully usually becomes a bully because he/she feels hurt, hopeless, unlovable, angry, and/or depressed. It is better to project feelings of disgust, fear, judgment, and hate onto others instead of dealing with his/her own inner demons. So, at some point, we must get to the core of bullying. We must also get to the core of why, as a society, we just let it happen. I say all this, while I am also recognizing that various organizations and laws have since been created to stop bullying and offer support and resources to families.
Fortunately, things are changing. People and systems are becoming more aware of the problem. Therefore, change is more likely. I just pray that people understand how serious this all is. We need to all recognize the great need the stands before us. Lastly, let us all strive to be more compassionate, tolerant, and understanding towards our changing social landscape.
End to Cyber Bullying Organization (http://www.endcyberbullying.org/)
No comments:
Post a Comment