Reject Me, PLEASE!

[Disclaimer: For a brief time, I was a writer for "Indie Chicks" magazine. "Indie Chicks" has since closed. On my blog, I am re-introducing my articles that I wrote for them.  If you've read these before, I hope you are inspired, once again. If these are new, I hope they offer you something during your day].

"Rejection just motivates me to keep trying and to try to do better." 

--Sasha Grey

Please reject me. "What?!" You say. You are probably wondering if you heard me right.  Yes, a person who has always been scared of rejection is genuinely saying, "Reject me."   Rejection is actually not a bad thing. It is a sign that the person, thing, project, job, or gig is not the perfect fit. If approved, you might be absolutely miserable. Why would you want that? Some great advice was given on rejection by a past Chicken Soup.for the Soul contributor in a article/interview by BYB: "Keep pressing on! Don’t worry about rejections and don’t give up. Each rejection brings you closer to an acceptance. May God bless you on your own writing journey." - Christy Johnson

I can't help but listen closely to her words of advice. It has not been easy. I grew up in a very creative, artistic family. Instead of spending my Summers out of doors with friends, I used to spend my Summers rehearsing for a musical performance that would come out at the beginning of the school year. When I didn’t get a part - even when I didn’t get my preferred part - I would come home crying my eyes out. “They don’t like me,” I would sob to my mother. “I’m not good enough.” My mother tried everything to protect me from this emotional pain. I even stopped participating in the performing arts all together. I see now that was not the answer. You don’t learn to deal with rejection by locking yourself up in Rapunzel’s tower. Rapunzel was safe but not at all happy. You have to learn to relate to rejection in a different way if you are going to fully embrace life and be present in this world.

Here are some things I’ve learned recently about rejection:

Rejection is the Universe's way of saying, “Don’t Take this Personally, You Just Don’t Fit.

If you wear a size 4 pair of pants why would you buy a size 10 pair of pants? That’s silly. You might say, “But the size 10’s are shiny and have pretty embellishments!.” To which I might respond, “Honey, they STILL don’t fit. You will shine in something that feels comfortable for you!” You might be thinking, “This is so obvious, why is she writing this?” But, most of us try to fit into that job, that show, that new project, or that specific relationship all the time. We tell ourselves we have no choice. We tell ourselves it is the only thing that will make us happy. We tell ourselves that it will make us secure at long last. Then, we become disappointed when it doesn’t work out. How many of us stop to think, “Maybe this is not meant for me. Maybe there is something better out there that totally aligns with who I am?”

Sometimes, The Timing is Just Off

Sometimes you get rejected when you seek after something at the wrong time. You submit that story or article for a magazine or anthology, but it doesn’t fit the current theme. This is no reason to stop. On the contrary. Be persistent. Don’t quit. One of two things will happen. An earlier submission will be accepted when the theme is right, or a subsequent article story will catch the Editor’s eye. I can say this because I've actually experienced this process in recent months.

Rejection is Really A Numbers Game

I love watching competition-based reality tv such as “American Idol,” “The Voice,” and “So You Think You Can Dance.” I watch to listen to people’s stories, as well as to hear the amazing talent that I see from these shows. Inwardly, there is a part of me wishing I had the courage to audition for those shows that don’t have an age limit (HINT: “America’s Got Talent” ). The truth of the matter is that these national auditions are very competitive. Imagine people who could fill up a football stadium all with great talent (or who just want 15 minutes of fame)! You can have amazing talent but never make it to the first or second round of live shows! Talent only gets you so far. Persistence, endurance, stamina, and will gets you further. Finally, it all comes down to people’s subjective views, which may be greatly influenced by daily events and hassles. Like I said - rejection is a numbers game, and it is not personal. All the same, never give up. You’ll get what you seek, if you want it badly enough.

Be True to Yourself

I think this is a core message throughout the other things I have already stated. I learned the hard way what happens when you run away from what is true. You find yourself out of balance, out of alignment, and questioning your life's purpose. The battles within you never stop and you want to crumble from exhaustion and missed opportunities. Regret is never a good thing. Be true to yourself and follow your bliss. The fear of failure, or greatness, is not worth the reality of lost dreams.

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Rejection is an opportunity for you to re-evaluate what you are putting out in the Universe and potentially changing course.  Or, it is just a sign that you must keep going until it is your time. Either way, I employ you to not give up hope. You will get there someday. Lastly, don't forget to enjoy the journey along the way to fulfilling your dreams! Sometimes, the journey is more thrilling than the destination!