{* my definition of "slut:" - A free-spirited, sexual Goddess who loves sex, owns and feels empowered by her sexual expression, and exudes amazing vitality. }.
"How did I get into this mess?" I thought, as I laid on the bathroom floor - bare ass in air trying to take out those damn "Fifty Shades..." balls. My inner Critic shook her head in disbelief - "Who, in her right mind, gets herself in this predicament at work of all places?" After bearing witness to my inner Aphrodite during an awesome party weekend, I felt like I unleashed those proverbial flood gates. Gone was the over-controlling, self-conscious, and restrained perfectionist. In her place was a flirtatious, sexy, quirky little fairy who felt free at long last. I delighted in the expression of this part of me. On Monday, I was still on Cloud 9 - reeling over how I let my free-spirit soar in front of my dear friends. That was when I got the idea to wear those ben wa balls I had been keeping in the dark corner of my underwear drawer. Imagine what that might feel like at work. Me, miss professional Volunteer Coordinator with a kinky secret! I laughed inwardly, imagining the scenario. Monday came and went. I was still thinking about it on Tuesday morning as I got ready for work. "Oh, what the hell, " I thought - as I grabbed the balls and threw them in my yoga bag. I had planned to attend my gentle yoga class after work. My hubby awoke before I left. Upon leaving, I playfully announced that I would be wearing the ben wa balls at some point in the day. He looked at me like I was nuts. I playfully and "innocently" responded, "What?" Then hubby made me promise I would let him know when I put them inside me. I was quite aroused just thinking about it! "Ok," I said.
Suffice to say, I got to work and immediately put them in. Usually quiet and self-conscious, I found myself smiling and greeting my co-workers with an air of delight. I was present, awake, and ready to have an awesome day. I was personable, happy, and confident. These qualities may be second nature for some people. But, I usually feel buried by all my self-doubt and fear of being judged to convey these qualities. So, I was delighted to bare witness to this part of me. Finally,at 11:15am, I started to feel pressure build up in my pelvis area. I thought, "time to take these things out." I went to the unisex single bathroom and locked the door. Reaching inside of me, I tried to take out my kinky balls. "Uh Oh..."I thought. "Why can't I feel the string to pull them out?" After a few minutes of trying, I gave up. I went back to my shared office and tried to act nonchalant. Then it dawned on me that I may have to go to an urgent care clinic to get them out. I imagined the embarrassment written on my face as I described, to the nursing assistant, the reason for my clinic visit. Even so, I thought that it was close enough to lunch to do this. I made the excuse that I was not feeling well and would take an early lunch. Then, I actually walked to the bus stop to wait for the next bus. After a minute of waiting, I realized I would not have time for this. Walk-ins could take all day. People at work would be wondering where I was. “Damn.” I headed back to the office.
Back at the office, I tried again to take the damn balls out. This time, I laid on the bathroom floor, thinking it would give me a better angle. It did not help. I even grabbed a plastic spoon from the kitchen in an attempt to dislodge its location. After fiddling around in my beautiful “flower”, I feared that I'd injure myself more and gave up on the idea. I proceeded to eat lunch, finally, and I texted my hubby about my predicament.
Here are the texts:
Me: "Um...Problem. Was feel like you were banging me in butterfly (pressure). So I tried to take the balls out. Can't find the string to pull them out. And they are really far back. What to do?! Damn. Can't be good having them in all day."
Tue, 11:28 AM
You may go to the bathroom and stand and jump to see if it's loosens.
Then just use your finger to see if you can grab an end.
Me: Imagine this scene. Me laying on the floor of the bathroom reaching all the way past my vajayjay to try and grab on to it - with no budging. What did I get myself into? Tried using a plastic spoon to move it or scoop it up. That was probably playing with fire. It did not help anyway. This sounds like a kinky SNL skit. Go ahead...laugh.
lol….
When I revealed the situation to Miss Roo, this was her responseL
To
….To which I responded - “I was waiting for you to burst out laughing!!”
Well, I went through the whole work day with the ben wa balls inside me. No one at work was clued in at all. As you may have imagined, I did not make it to yoga. If I went to yoga, I would only get home by 10:30pm. My body would hate me if I did that. Upon arriving home, hubby exclaimed - “Time to do some surgery…” Much to my disappointment (my inner slut really liked the idea of making this a kink scene ) he was all business-like as he managed to fish them out - successfully, I might add. He admitted that they were quite deeply lodged. I was relieved when my pelvis got a chance to breath again!
All three of us ended the night with a dinner date followed by sexy time. It was a long day and we all landed up going to bed by 10:30pm!
But, I’ll never forgot the day I had the crazy notion of wearing ben wa balls to work! The day Mandy touched her inner Goddess, was more herself, and learned to laugh at her craziness!/
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